Case of the Mondays…

Patriots @ Bengals. The Bengals do not stand a chance in Monday night’s game for many reasons.

They don’t play defense.
The Patriots are probably spying on them as we speak.
Rudi Johnson is not playing.
Tom Brady is.

The list could go on, but I’d only be rubbing it in.

Patriots 38, Bengals 21

WebMD Injury Report Week Four

Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints
Symptoms:  Headaches, lethargy, spotty play
WebMD diagnosis:  Smallpox
About smallpox:  A deadly disease centuries ago, smallpox is still a dangerous illness if not treated properly.  Symptoms like Brees’ are common, but he may also experience fever and fatigue.  The contagious disease is very easy to spread, which explains the poor play [...]

Week Four Picks

NFL.com is the greatest thing that has ever happened to my Sunday.

Being a New England Patriots fan living in Idaho, I rarely have the chance to see them unless they’re playing a nationally televised game.  So instead of seeing Tom Brady to Randy Moss, I am inevitably stuck with Jay Cutler to Brandon Marshall’s feet.  [...]

Downtown Ronnie Brown

 
Ronnie Brown, assuming he cares what people like me think of him and his fantasy stats, must have seen the writing on the wall. 
Last week, I began making contingency plans for when (I had moved past “if”) he rushed for fewer than 50 yards and no touchdowns for the third week in a row.  [...]

A Case of the Mondays: Week Three

Titans @ Saints:  Reggie Bush versus Vince Young–this was the type of game Joe Theismann and Mike Patrick were born to televise.  Unfortunately, Joe will be at home, live-blogging his blood-alcohol content while wondering what could have been.  Patrick will be covering preseason hockey…and loving every minute of it.

I’m kind of glad those two won’t be involved Monday [...]

WebMD Injury Report Week Three

Norv Turner, Chargers
Symptoms: overwhelmed, unprepared, tired
WebMD diagnosis: teenage stress
About teenage stress:  During adolescence, the body undergoes many changes that can often leave kids insecure and stressed about their appearance and fitting in.  A little stress is good and healthy because it motivates and encourages production.  However, too much stress can be harmful.  Teenagers who [...]

Week Three Picks

I often read Bill Simmons’ ESPN column, and while I do not worship the ground he walks on like some, I do enjoy his writing.  His weekly picks article is particularly fun to read what with its football knowledge, bold predictions, and use of gambling terms I am not familiar with.  I really enjoy comparing his choices [...]

I’m with stupid

Fantasy sports have a way of bringing out the idiot in all of us, and yet we always come back for more.  Kind of like marriage.  Or American Idol.  
This week’s idiot search found a familiar spot with my roster—so familiar in fact, that it keeps a toothbrush and change of clothes here.  My poor decision-making [...]

A Case of the Mondays: Week 2

Redskins @ Eagles:  Coming back from a serious knee injury often takes time.  Donovan McNabb has had one week.  My guess is that it takes more than that to feel comfortable again.  Of course, all bets are off if McNabb has chicken noodle Chunky Soup before the game. 

Redskins 22, Eagles 18.

WebMD Injury Report

Joey Harrington, Atlanta Falcons
Symptoms:  General malaise, poor vision
WebMD diagnosis:  Lupus
About lupus:  Lupus is generally caused by genetics, but playing for the Lions and Dolphins for the majority of your career will do it to you also.  Lupus attacks a particular body organ—in Harrington’s case, the organ that controls the forward pass.  Symptoms vary from case [...]