Fantasy Football
Fantasy Lemons
Cleo Lemon is not my friend.
Obviously, he is not my friend because he is a professional football player, and I take multiple naps every day. We are nothing alike and probably have nothing in common, unless Lemon also happens to loooooove Christian rock. But I highly doubt that.
Despite our differences, it is not like I [...]
Fantasy Perfection
With the Patriots, Colts, and Cowboys each running their records to a perfect 5-0, the talk around the league has been whether or not any of them can finish with a perfect record.
Meanwhile, a similarly perfect, similarly unstoppable group is still flying under the radar: my fantasy team.
With a win last week over my league’s [...]
The Dwayne Bowe Miracle
Scouring the fantasy waiver wire is no way to spend a Sunday morning. And yet, there I was, hunting frantically for wide receivers, as much in need of fantasy points as I was a shower.My roster was in shambles thanks to injuries to three of my solid wideouts. Javon Walker and Andre Johnson were out [...]
Downtown Ronnie Brown
Ronnie Brown, assuming he cares what people like me think of him and his fantasy stats, must have seen the writing on the wall.
Last week, I began making contingency plans for when (I had moved past “if”) he rushed for fewer than 50 yards and no touchdowns for the third week in a row. [...]
I’m with stupid
Fantasy sports have a way of bringing out the idiot in all of us, and yet we always come back for more. Kind of like marriage. Or American Idol.
This week’s idiot search found a familiar spot with my roster—so familiar in fact, that it keeps a toothbrush and change of clothes here. My poor decision-making [...]
Thanks for nothing, ESPN autopick draft
Up until Friday night, I had never encountered the horrors of fantasy sports autodrafts.
In previous years, I had been lucky enough to have friends close by who could attend a draft party or to have created a four-team league by myself using different usernames I created. I know; I need help.
My newest league [...]
