Fantasy Perfection

With the Patriots, Colts, and Cowboys each running their records to a perfect 5-0, the talk around the league has been whether or not any of them can finish with a perfect record.
Meanwhile, a similarly perfect, similarly unstoppable group is still flying under the radar: my fantasy team.
With a win last week over my league’s [...]

WebMD Injury Report Week Five

Joey Porter, Miami Dolphins
Symptoms:  Insignificant, weak, upsetting
WebMD diagnosis:  Heartburn
About heartburn:  Also known as GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease), heartburn afflicts millions of Americans each day.  For some it is caused by eating the wrong thing or eating too late.  Porter’s is caused by signing with the Dolphins.  Heartburn is caused by stomach acid, which [...]

Week Five Picks

Four weeks have passed in the NFL season, and my picks have gotten progressively worse.  I started off as a world-beater, and now I’m merely mediocre.  In other words, I am the San Francisco 49ers.  

So before things get out of hand, I think it might be time for a change.  This week, I’ll be picking games [...]

The Dwayne Bowe Miracle

Scouring the fantasy waiver wire is no way to spend a Sunday morning. And yet, there I was, hunting frantically for wide receivers, as much in need of fantasy points as I was a shower.My roster was in shambles thanks to injuries to three of my solid wideouts. Javon Walker and Andre Johnson were out [...]

Case of the Mondays…

Patriots @ Bengals. The Bengals do not stand a chance in Monday night’s game for many reasons.

They don’t play defense.
The Patriots are probably spying on them as we speak.
Rudi Johnson is not playing.
Tom Brady is.

The list could go on, but I’d only be rubbing it in.

Patriots 38, Bengals 21

WebMD Injury Report Week Four

Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints
Symptoms:  Headaches, lethargy, spotty play
WebMD diagnosis:  Smallpox
About smallpox:  A deadly disease centuries ago, smallpox is still a dangerous illness if not treated properly.  Symptoms like Brees’ are common, but he may also experience fever and fatigue.  The contagious disease is very easy to spread, which explains the poor play [...]

Week Four Picks

NFL.com is the greatest thing that has ever happened to my Sunday.

Being a New England Patriots fan living in Idaho, I rarely have the chance to see them unless they’re playing a nationally televised game.  So instead of seeing Tom Brady to Randy Moss, I am inevitably stuck with Jay Cutler to Brandon Marshall’s feet.  [...]

Downtown Ronnie Brown

 
Ronnie Brown, assuming he cares what people like me think of him and his fantasy stats, must have seen the writing on the wall. 
Last week, I began making contingency plans for when (I had moved past “if”) he rushed for fewer than 50 yards and no touchdowns for the third week in a row.  [...]

A Case of the Mondays: Week Three

Titans @ Saints:  Reggie Bush versus Vince Young–this was the type of game Joe Theismann and Mike Patrick were born to televise.  Unfortunately, Joe will be at home, live-blogging his blood-alcohol content while wondering what could have been.  Patrick will be covering preseason hockey…and loving every minute of it.

I’m kind of glad those two won’t be involved Monday [...]

Week Three Picks

I often read Bill Simmons’ ESPN column, and while I do not worship the ground he walks on like some, I do enjoy his writing.  His weekly picks article is particularly fun to read what with its football knowledge, bold predictions, and use of gambling terms I am not familiar with.  I really enjoy comparing his choices [...]