Fantasy Football

Fantasy Basketball: BGs!

Going to the dark side has been a lot easier than I thought. With my decision to cheat my way to the top of my fantasy basketball league, I figured I would be wracked with sleepless nights and flooded with feelings of guilt and remorse.

I’m not.

In fact, ever since I crossed the fine line between competitive and compulsive, my team has been slowly getting better. Just this week, I gained three points in the standings by doing the same thing I’ve done all season: absolutely nothing.

My first salvo was sent to the BGs, the last place team in the league. Here it is in its entirety:

 

Dear BGs,

Happy fantasy Monday to you! I hope everything is going well for you.

Now, let’s get down to business. Just the other day, I was sitting at my computer trying to figure out what went wrong with my fantasy season. I am in ninth place with a roster of guys I don’t know a whole lot about, and I have no idea how to get any better by myself.

I’m sure you’ve been there, too. Being in last place is no fun; I can say that from personal experience. I’m sure you’ve tried everything you can to change your place in the league, but if you are anything like me, you know that nothing works.

So here’s the deal: we cannot win this thing by ourselves, but together we have a chance. Join forces with me, BGs, and we will take over our league in no time. All we have to do is siphon players onto one of our teams through a series of secret trades and player transactions, and before you know it, we’ll be in first place.

This plan cannot fail. It is simply too good. Are you with me? Just reply to this email, and tell no one of our plan. I believe in you.

All the best,

Two Point Dunk Shot

As you can see, he has three days left to respond. I have heard nothing from him since I sent the email, so I can only assume that he is giving my proposition serious thought.

Go with your heart, BGs. That’s what I do.

© 2008 KevanLee.com.