Fantasy Football

Fantasy Perfection

With the Patriots, Colts, and Cowboys each running their records to a perfect 5-0, the talk around the league has been whether or not any of them can finish with a perfect record.

Meanwhile, a similarly perfect, similarly unstoppable group is still flying under the radar: my fantasy team.

With a win last week over my league’s second-place and previously undefeated bunch, I ran my record to a perfect 5-0 with all five wins coming in commanding fashion. I have dominated with a unique blend of waiver wire wonders and savvy roster moves, but easily my greatest strength has been not starting players who are injured or on a bye. Except Joseph Addai. Him, I forgot about.

How I got to be so good is anyone’s guess. The ESPN autopick draft, as documented in great detail here on this site, ate me alive, leaving in its wake Chad Pennington and five wide receivers. Picking up the pieces has been a year-long process; take a look at who I’ve dug up so far.

Matt Leinart: Don’t worry. After one week, I put him right back where I found him.

Jeff Garcia: My starting quarterback the last two weeks, Garcia has done a great job of doing just enough. He doesn’t turn the ball over, and he is good for one to two touchdowns per game.

Dwayne Bowe: His first week on my roster was his best game as a pro. I shouldn’t be taking the credit for this, but I am.

Julius Jones: The epitome of buying low, I picked him off the trash heap just as his stock was hitting rock bottom. He provided one good week for me, which is more than Steven Jackson’s owners can say.

Cadillac Williams: I found him on the waiver list, too, but before I could give myself a hearty pat on the back (which I literally do every time I pick up a good player), he had destroyed his knee and is out for the year.

David Carr: I have no explanation for this one.

My player pick-ups have been sort of hit-and-miss…and abundant. I have already cracked double-digits in acquisitions, and I have three moves pending for Week Six. On the plus side, I have improved my chances of unearthing a stud. On the down side, I have a feeling there is some sort of cap on player moves that is about to take effect.

Further highlighting the wonder of my undefeated team is how many injuries I have overcome.

The first two weeks of the season, Andre Johnson was the man. He was my highest scorer both weeks, and he looked unstoppable. Ever since those first two weeks, though, he hasn’t played a down.

Javon Walker is just like Johnson, except less productive. He racked up good yardage the first two weeks, but injuries have limited him since.

Brandon Jacobs was supposed to be my number-two running back, but his knee had other ideas. Before Week One was over, Jacobs was sidelined indefinitely, and I was stuck on the wrong side of a Clinton Portis-Ladell Betts platoon.

Johnson, Walker, and Jacobs have been joined at times this season by Joseph Addai, Calvin Johnson and Kellen Winslow. My injured list puts Dr. James Andrews’ address book to shame.

If lackluster pick-ups and a dearth of injuries weren’t enough to do me in, then my poor judgment calls should have done the trick.

Early on in the season when I was QB shopping, I had my eyes on trading for Carson Palmer, whose owner wanted Calvin Johnson among others in return. Like an NBA GM, I balked, valuing Johnson’s 60 yards and occasional touchdowns higher than the third best quarterback in the league.

To make matters worse, I gave up on Jason Campbell in a fit of rage. Watching him blow a second-half lead to the Giants, and thus ending my suicide pool after three weeks, I vowed never to support anything he does, ever again. I may have spoke too soon.

Amid the cacophony of missteps, I have somehow managed to rise to the top. To my credit, I have left very few points sitting on my bench. I have played the matchups well with my defenses and my kickers. I have struck an illicit deal with the league commissioner to fix games.

Other than that, my stay at the top of the league is surprising. I never expected to be undefeated after five weeks, and I never thought I’d be able to entertain the idea of lasting all year without a loss.

Enough talk about the Patriots, Colts, and Cowboys. The real feel-good story of 2007 is right here, and Chris Berman better give me a nickname before it’s too late.

© 2007 KevanLee.com.