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Fantasy soccer: the rise of the ignorant

Last week, I complained that MLS fantasy soccer was hard. Apparently, I was wrong.

One week and zero roster changes later, I jumped over 1,000 spots in the league standings. You read that correctly. 1,000 spots. I went from 3,312^th place to 2,091^st by doing absolutely nothing more than crossing my fingers and wishing for the pain of fantasy soccer to go away.

I have some theories on how this happened.

• 1,000 people quit. This is the theory that makes the most sense. My meteoric rise would be far less confounding if it occurred as the result of a massive player walkout. Also, I can understand why so many people would want to up and leave fantasy soccer in pursuit of more entertaining, life-affirming things.

• Landon Donovan had a really, really good week. The LA Galaxy star did, in fact, score two goals, but unless goals are worth 250 points apiece, I doubt that his performance alone boosted my standing so high.

• Colossal computer error. Perhaps something went wrong with the MLS fantasy soccer computers. If they are capable of losing the entire rosters of every fantasy soccer player in the world, then I’m sure they are capable of fudging my numbers a couple hundred spots.

• Fate. I guess my fortune could be explained by the universe’s desire for me to win MLS fantasy soccer. Although, I feel the universe has more important things to worry about.

• I do not understand the rules of fantasy soccer. I know for a fact that this theory has validity, but I have a hard time believing that my innocuous rule knowledge could really play that big of a role in leapfrogging 1,000 people. Certainly, this theory explains why MLS fantasy soccer gives me a headache.

This post was written while listening to Pedro the Lion.

© 2008 KevanLee.com.