Friday Night Lights
Friday Night Lights: The Great Awakening II
“Want to see my quizzing trophies?”
I fully expected to hear this line from the new Christian radio guy as he was listening to Lyla’s tell-all in the church sanctuary. Or maybe I was just hoping to hear it, considering I had spent a good portion of high school banking on the fact that quizzing would get the chicks and I wanted to know if it really did.
Christian Radio Guy was my favorite part of the latest Friday Night Lights episode because he had eerie similarities to myself. His entire persona could have been based on the high school version of me. Check it out:
Oddly approachable? Check.
A crush on a girl out of his league? Check.
Not in the “cool” crowd? Check.
His own radio show? Check. (Although, replace “radio show” with “LEGO city.”)
The resemblance was uncanny, right down to the preppy wardrobe.
Of course, our experiences with the opposite sex were incredibly different.
For a majority of the show, I thought that I would have to write an open letter to this kid to tell him how to work it with the ladies. Instead, he got to Nazarene third base with his Lyla liplock in the closing minutes of the show. A kiss?! On the lips?! Who did this guy think he is?!
With Christian Radio Guy going from spaz to stud in the time it takes me to sing “Church on Fire,” I was forced to reconsider everything I ever thought about him and about myself. Was I wrong in thinking girls liked the quiet, socially awkward types? Could all those years spent playing a wet blanket have been avoided with one assertive tongue hug? Is courtship overrated? It was as if I didn’t know myself anymore.
One thing’s for sure, Christian Radio Guy’s love scenario would have played out quite differently if he were taking cues from high school me. Take a look:
When a listener called in to the show with a question about appropriate physical intimacy, Christian Radio Guy bailed Lyla out of an uncomfortable situation by calmly and patiently answering the caller’s questions. I would have giggled quietly to myself and let Lyla go down in flames because I certainly did not know the first thing about physical intimacy.
During Lyla’s sharing session in the sanctuary, Christian Radio Guy played it cool by asking open-ended questions and keeping the mood light. My experience in this situation is completely irrelevant because I was too scared to ever be alone with a pretty girl for any amount of time.
As Lyla and Christian Radio Guy were leaving, he helped her with her coat and then took the initiative of introducing his lips to her face. I would have helped her with her coat, taking the initiative to not touch any part of her or her hair, then asked if she wanted to go hang out with me and my friends while we play Nintendo 64.
As you can see, things would have turned out quite differently if I had been the one giving the advice. But really, take away his abbreviated makeout session, and Christian Radio Guy would have been in the same position I knew so well: the friend zone. His bold move and Eli Manning haircut are the only things separating us, and his haircut isn’t really that good.
I would like to have had the chance to drop some knowledge on my FNL alter ego, but it would appear that he is doing just fine without me. My pearls of wisdom (ranging from “do not go to their softball games unless invited” to “never assume they are talking about you when they say ‘Kevin’”) can wait for the next sheltered soul who longs to be one in mouth with the popular girl. And when that kid comes along, you can bet the first gem I’ll hand to him will be: “Want to see my quizzing trophies?”
Photo courtesty of Yahoo!
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