NFL

Week Eight Picks

It’s cute how baseball takes the nation by storm once every year. 

Oh, wait.  Did I say nation?  I meant Boston and most of Denver.  The rest of us don’t really care that much about what’s going on, which makes the NFL’s annual favor to MLB of not broadcasting a Sunday night game to make room for World Series coverage all the more annoying.  My NFL Sunday is incomplete without a football nightcap, and this week I’ll be left wanting, or at least, wanting baseball to end.  The only thing worse than regular season baseball is postseason baseball because the games last twice as long and the hyperbole stretches twice as far.  Every pitch is historically significant, or so Tim McCarver would have us believe.  Every pitch is also brought to us by Taco Bell or a number of different sponsors who make commercial breaks longer than the top half of innings.

So instead of devoting my valuable time to baseball’s Fall Classic, I plan on doing something more important.  Like playing Madden…or spending time with my family.  I haven’t decided yet. 

Browns 28, Rams 13
With Steven Jackson in the lineup, the Rams open up the offense by running the ball outside the tackles and using play action—to no avail.

Lions 18, Bears 14
The Lions’ 18 fourth-quarter points are not quite as impressive as the 34 they hung on the Bears a few weeks earlier, but they are enough to overcome Devin Hester’s two return touchdowns.

Jaguars 7, Bucs 3
With Quinn Gray leading the way, Jacksonville tells the offense that they don’t need to win the game; they just can’t lose it.  In that vein, Jack Del Rio punts on third downs just in case.

Colts 42, Panthers 0
Vinny Testaverde matches his quarterback rating with his age, which obviously leads to a loss.

Bills 20, Jets 10
Trent Edwards goes to 3-1 as a starter, and Chad Pennington goes one step closer to the bench.

Steelers 35, Bengals 28
Chad Johnson gets kicked out of the game after a third quarter touchdown celebration in which he burns Marvin Lewis in effigy.

Eagles 17, Vikings 16
The Eagles get payback for the Bears’ last-second touchdown against them last week by doing the same on the final drive against the Vikings.  Strangely, it doesn’t have the same effect.

Titans 23, Raiders 9
Rob Bironas kicks seven field goals and records a safety, accounting for all of the Titans’ points.  He then holds out for more money.

Saints 28, 49ers 21
Alex Smith’s return to the San Francisco starting lineup reinvigorates the 49er offense until the second quarter when they realize that he’s just Alex Smith.  San Fran doesn’t cross the fifty after that.

Patriots 38, Redskins 17
Tom Brady rushes for five touchdowns…just because he can.

Chargers 31, Texans 7
Sage Rosenfels’ fourth-quarter magic eludes him, probably because he’s Sage Rosenfels and lightning never strikes the same place twice.

Packers 21, Broncos 20
The Denver Broncos defense gets caught watching Rockies highlights during the game’s final drive, allowing Brett Favre—not a baseball fan—to throw the winning TD pass. 

Last Week: 10-4
Season: 63-40 

© 2007 KevanLee.com.