NFL

Week Seven Picks

I finally had a good week picking games in Week Six.  And while the facts may make it seem like my good week was mere coincidence, I like to think of it as my genius finally taking over.

Therefore, picking games is simply no longer hard enough.  Now I’m going to tell you exactly what will happen in each game. 

Sure, there is absolutely no way of telling how these contests will play out unless you are a seer or Tim Donaghy.  But not having ESP or mob connections never stopped me from doing anything before. 

Washington 14, Arizona 8
The Redskins bottle up the Cardinals’ running game by putting eleven men in the box, virtually daring Tim Rattay to throw.  He does so, only ineffectively.

New Orleans 31, Atlanta 13
Reggie Bush scores on runs of 40, 55, and 70 yards in the first half, proving that he is not overrated in the leas—so long as the Falcons are his opponent.

NY Giants 21, San Francisco 3
The Giants sack Trent Dilfer eight times, causing Bill Walsh to roll over in his grave to change the channel.

New England 40, Miami 10
Cleo Lemon, hot off his four-touchdown game last week, audibles every play to a deep pass.  He finishes with four interceptions before Cam Cameron benches him in favor of direct snaps to Ronnie Brown.

Tennessee 18, Houston 17
Mario Williams, intent on proving that he was a better pick than Vince Young, sneaks into the offensive huddle to play tight end on the game’s final play.  Matt Schaub boots left, spies Williams in the back of the end zone, but before he can throw it, he is sacked by Vince Young.

Tampa Bay 28, Detroit 24 
Jon Kitna demands MercyMe and Avalon be played after touchdowns.  Roy Williams and Calvin Johnson refuse to score.

Baltimore 13, Buffalo 0
Ray Lewis kills Trent Edwards.  Accidentally.

Kansas City 26, Oakland 14
Daunte Culpepper plays well enough to keep Jamarcus Russell on the bench but not well enough to win.  Al Davis dies a little more inside.

Cincinnati 35, NY Jets 21  
Chad Pennington and Carson Palmer, each fed up with how they are treated on their respective teams, swap sides for the day.  Pennington has a career day because he’s used to throwing to the guys in the other jerseys anyway.

Philadelphia 13, Chicago 7
Devin Hester returns a first quarter punt for a touchdown.  Andy Reid goes for it on fourth down for the rest of the game.

Dallas 30, Minnesota 21
Wade Phillips, in his postgame press conference, credits the team’s win with the gameplan designed to “make Adrian Peterson beat us.”  Peterson rushes for 350 yards and three touchdowns on 59 carries in a losing effort.

Seattle 15, St. Louis 6
Shaun Alexander sees nowhere to run on a first quarter carry and goes down in the backfield.  Angry Seattle fans storm the field and sacrifice him to the 12^th Man flag.

Pittsburgh 23, Denver 21
Not content with the home-field advantage of mile-high air, a desperate Mike Shanahan literally slants the field in the direction the Broncos are going.  And he pulls Jay Cutler in the middle of his third snap.

Last Week: 10-3

Season: 53-36

© 2007 KevanLee.com.